Read this when your dating committee is stumped.
Dating and texting go hand-in-hand but the way men and women go about this tricky business can be so different – how do you know you’re sending the right thing? Dating guru Iona Yeung gives us the lowdown on how to nail the SMS of lurve
The cheeky fun fact text
“Did you know I’m a huge fan of vintage surfboards? I just need someone to help me decide on a new board”
These texts should be quirky and different so go with a fun fact about yourself that will keep him wanting to learn more. Revealing a personal trait or hobby is a great conversation starter so no one has to feel awkward thinking of something to say just to get things going. It breaks the ice and puts a smile on his face all while letting him learn more about you.
Why men love it: This approach serves a double purpose. Guys love it because it takes the pressure off them to create a conversation from nothing. Guys also love it because it’s cheeky and unique and opens the door for some serious flirting down the line. It’s personal and can turn that initial awkward first text vibe into something super fun.
Dos and Don’ts: DO personalise your style. Tell him fun facts about you that make you awesome. Whether it’s your hobbies, your style or your sense of humour, a cheeky fun fact is how you let him know you rock.
DON’T over exaggerate to seem like someone else. It will only bite you down the line and plus, what’s cooler than being yourself. If he’s not into you, it’s his loss.
The invitation without an invitation text
“I’m at this great new Bar that’s just opened, this place is really going off. Why aren’t you here?”
Just because you don’t want to be the one doing the chasing, it doesn’t mean you have no control over your love life.
Why men love it: This one puts the ball in the guy’s court without any pressure. If he likes feeling chased then you’ve just invited him to a cool bar to spend time with you. If he likes to do the chasing then you’ve given him the perfect opening to strike up a conversation and make it seem like joining you was his idea. Win-Win!
Dos and Don’ts: DO actually make your way to a bar or café. There’s nothing worse than having a guy agree to spend time with you if you weren’t ready to follow through.
DON’T keep texting him if he doesn’t reply. This is a great way to gauge his interest. If he doesn’t want to reply then move on and enjoy the night yourself.
The upfront approach text
“Me. You. Drinks. Saturday”
It’s so easy to second guess yourself when texting. The lack of tone can make digital mountains out of molehills. A simple thing like losing the question marks can turn an apprehensive question into the sexiest assumption. This relies on a confident and upfront approach that will have him in the palm of your hand.
Why men love it: It’s different! So much of dating is about the back and forth texting, following those “rules” we all know about. This text tells him you’re not like everyone else and you know what you want. When he sees you take charge he’ll be turned on by your confidence and won’t be able to resist.
Dos and Don’ts: DO stay flexible. Being confident and being stubborn are two different things. If he loves your initiative but has some input too, open a dialogue and build that connection.
DON’T turn the sexual meter up to full blast. He’ll love the confidence of a planned date but hold off on telling him if he’ll get lucky or not, leaving that a mystery will build tension all night.
The flirting masterclass text
“I just got out of the shower and had the urge to text you. So random. Also can you stop thinking about me please?”
Flirting, the cogs that keep the dating wheels spinning. Everyone loves to flirt, and whether you like to be direct or a little coy a flirty text is a great way to keep him interested. Keep it light hearted and fun and always leave room for him to reply and have his turn to flirt back.
Why men love it: Guys love flirting just as much as we do, that’s a fact. The playful teasing shows him your fun and cheeky side and lets him know that you’re a woman who can handle herself. Like test driving a car, flirting lets him gauge the type of girl you are and leaves him wanting more. A pinch of innuendo, a dash of sexual chemistry and a sprinkle of humour will have him hooked.
Dos and Don’ts: DO keep it short. Good flirting should leave him 99% confident he’s understood the hidden tone and message in your text, but still not 100% sure.
DON’T overthink it. Be considerate of tone here. This is when emojis can help convey a playful, fun and light tone of voice.
The straight from the heart text
“You were on my mind today. It was really nice.”
Showing vulnerability isn’t a weakness, it’s the ultimate strength. There’s nothing he’ll appreciate more than an open, honest and raw text that says “Hey, you’re having an impact on my life” in whatever way you feel comfortable. At the end of the day we’re all human and we all want attention and affection, take a deep breath and let him know he has both.
Why men love it: We’re told that coming on too strong scares guys away and to an extent that can be true. But there’s no shame in admitting if someone is making your day better. This is the type of text he saves on his phone. He’ll feel special and the value you’re placing on his role in your life will make him notice the role you play in his too.
Dos and Don’ts: DO mean it. No one likes being led on and adding a little emotion to your texts should only happen when you feel it.
DON’T go hard and fast. It goes without saying the emotional texts should be saved when you’ve gotten to know someone a little, that way it isn’t so scary opening up.
For more text inspiration you can buy Iona’s book ‘Ultimate Guide to Texting Men: Texts and scripts to send men in the most common dating scenarios’. Flirt and date with confidence here.
Images – Getty
